Beings

We are human beings.

That sounds like an awfully simple statement to start a blog with, but if you sit down to really contemplate what that means, it has the potential to be a very provocative and even profound statement.

When was the last time you were just you? You weren’t on your way to somewhere, or trying to get something done…you were just fully present in the moment, actively enjoying the awesomeness that is you?

If you’re anything like me, it has been a good while.

I felt compelled to write about this because of a realisation I had recently. For a few weeks now, I’ve been constantly feeling low: low energy, low drive, low spirits. Everything seems like it would require too much effort on my part. Every day seems like an excellent day to stay in bed and “catch myself”. I could go on, but the long and short of it is that everything that requires some form of direction or plan feels too restrictive and draining. I won’t go as far as to say that I feel demotivated, but I’m just not in a place where structure and routine bring out the best in me.

For a good while I thought that I was just being lazy (which is also a very real possibility), but I also realised something quite interesting. Although I’m only 22, I’ve always been on a path to somewhere. From primary school to a good secondary school, from school to university, from university to a suitable job. In my personal life, I had spent the entire of 2012 pouring all my mental and emotional energy into making all kinds of things “work”. In the back of my mind was the constant hum of my brain trying to figure out “how do I fix this?”, “how do I make this better?”, “what do I need to be a better me?” and so on and so forth. As soon as I made some form of accomplishment, it was onto the next thing. Now, I’ve found myself hurting and a wee bit burnt out.

Rather than being a terrible experience however, it’s been quite nice.

I mean, yes I do have days where I feel very lethargic or sad or whatever, but rather than trying to “fix” my feelings, I’m just experiencing them without judgement. I’m too tired to do anything else, but just be. And, while it may seem a bit counter-intuitive, making time to sit down and say to myself “Actually, yes…I am tired/upset/etc”, and just be in that moment, has proven to be quite a pleasurable experience in itself.

It’s a bit like taking off shoes that have been cramping your feet all day. That feeling of release when, for the moment you don’t have to feel the unjust sting of wearing shoes any more. You just sit and you enjoy that. That’s a bit like what I’ve found “being” to be like. When you take time for you, when you take a step back from life’s craziness for just a moment, it’s like undoing your belt after a huge meal. Or letting the breeze blow over you for a moment. I guess, what I’m saying is…it’s a distinctly sweet feeling. A distinctly sweet feeling that not enough of us take time to enjoy. Why else would stress related illnesses be such a big deal in today’s society?

So, after a year of constant thinking, worrying and working, I’ve reached THE point where I can no longer overextend myself. There is no energy left in me to give/do in grand amounts, so I’m just being. And that has proven to be such a blessing. Until this point, I don’t think I’ve ever taken time to appreciate myself and how far I’ve come. I know I have farther to go still, but I’m taking this moment to pat myself on the back and rest before psyching myself up for more.

I’ve done good. You have too, if you take the time to see and appreciate it.

So, if you haven’t taken time to just be…do it! Turn your brain off and just be.

You deserve to appreciate the hard work you’ve put in to this life.

Peace and Love, family

-J

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